Blerg.

Life has been rough lately (so please excuse this flood of updated blog posts). Work recently shut down two entire offices and laid off easily half the employee's at my office. Needless to say, Thomas and I have been down in the dumps lately. It's weird being on this side of the lay-offs. I'm so grateful that both Thomas and I have our jobs-- truly lucky, but I had the hardest time shaking the guilt of having a paycheck while so many of my former employees are now on unemployment.
I needed to change my mindset I saw all my thoughts turning negative and slowly all the good parts of my day were being overshadowed. So I resorted to what I always resort to..

journaling. 

But this time I dragged Thomas with me, and since he loves me oh-so-much, he obliged. I simple started a gratitude journal. Honestly I can't express how good it feels to physically write down three things that make you happy during the day.

Can you tell Thomas was sick with a cold this day? ;)

One night I was just in a sour mood, and I simply didn't want to write three things out. I sat there looking at the blank pages, mad and then becoming more upset because I simply couldn't think of just three things I was grateful for. How vein and selfish was I? Just me, alone in my own pitty party with a blank sheet of paper annoying me. I couldn't even think of three things-- how pathetic-- the paper mocked me.
It was then that my mind just clicked. Yes my day was lousy, and yes, I was in a pretty bad mood. And sure, why not-- not a single thing made me smile today. But I could still find and see greater things that I would still be grateful for no matter how bad my day was. I have a roof over my head, and heater to keep me warm and air conditioner to keep me cool. I have the luxury of hot water and a shower, and a pantry of food.

And just like that I felt worlds better. My bad mood seems silly and minuscule.

Silly blank sheet of paper, why did I let you intimidate me?!